Want to get injured faster? Learn some tips here!
- You would rather say “maximal” than “minimal” when pointing to anything below your waist.
- You’re a trend follower. Now that maximalist shoes are more popular than ever, you’ll follow suit. You’re secretly hoping that your favorite brand comes out with a glitter model since that’s in style now too.
- The minimalist thing just didn’t work out for you. You gave it a shot, but your feet are sensitive and they hurt, just like your feelings when reading this.
- You want to prove that muscle atrophy does not exist.
- Essentially, you wanna get what you’re paying for. For only about $30 to $40 more, you can get twice as much shoe as those flimsy barefoot-style models.
- You also wake up bruised due to the pea under your 17 mattresses.
- You just want to be taller.
- The surface below you is just not compatible with your unique physiology. Gravel, stones, and even grass just aren’t as comforting as ethylene vinyl acetate and polyurethane.
- You want to run in races that are way above your current ability.
- Your ankles were already unstable, so you figure by adding instability to instability, you’ve got nothing more to lose, and maybe by some grace of God, you’ll benefit from new technology.
- Your maximalist model is low- or zero-drop with plenty of room to wiggle your toes, so who cares that it’s 2 inches off the ground? It’s still “barefoot” technology.
- You didn’t win the eBay auction for Buzz Aldrin’s moon boots, so you want the next best thing.
- You want to experience lower back and other pain, and hopefully have a reason to sit more in your golden years.
- You daydream by looking at the clouds, so why not put them on your feet?
- You want your footwear to say, “Yes, I’ll buy anything.”
